It's- [He chances a glance. But that was a mistake.]
I mean it as I said it, I admire you for it, it's a - an attractive quality.
[Could he possibly be more careful about what words he chooses? Probably, actually. If he was going to do as good a job of avoiding as he wants, he wouldn't have called it attractive.]
[The beginning of their reconciliation had come with unspoken rules. They never discussed what transpired between them, she didn't mention Lily's duplicity, and actually grew to respect the woman after her part in dismantling the traffickers' organization.
Mostly, they never put out the thought of resuming her and Hyde's trysts. Or starting again. It was unheard of.
This time Bella looks away first. Her chest is on fire.]
To? That doesn't particularly matter does it? It's only my opinion.
[What does it matter if he thinks she's attractive (in more than just a physical sense), of course whatever they had is over. It's just good to be friendly again. And as a friend, he thinks she's very impressive and desirable. And he can't seem to feel or hear anything but his heart beating.]
[Her rash impulses dictate what she does next: stand, abruptly scraping the chair back an inch, and circle the table in two steps to stand by him with hawkish intent. Intent to... ?
To get the truth from him. Bella just wants-- or needs, if her burning insides give any indication-- Robert to give her truth.]
[If she must know!! But he still stands by that it doesn't matter. Who else would he be referring to anyway!
Does she really have to stand so close, he won't be able to keep a grip on himself like this. Where's that medication...coat pocket. He fumbles for it.]
[She watches him panic without making a move to interfere. Bella's not sure where she's going with this, either. It feels foolish, but natural all the same. Her fingers wrap around the back of his chair but hardly brush him.]
What're you frightened of now? Think I'll ... snap you up?
[But Bella only looks taken aback, perplexed. Evidently she did NOT know what he think and feels about her. She never wanted the discomfort of wondering.]
[Most of his behavior can be written off as typical Robert skittishness, but maybe that's more an indicator of how he behaves around women he's got a thing for.
Her other hand flattens into the table as she goes on the offensive, trapping him into his chair. This is now an interrogation.]
[She won't say Lily because it's not about her, not remotely. Robert broke it off because he wanted someone he thought was weaker, who needed him as much as he needed the idea of perfection in a match. Someone delicate. Someone proper.
Bella's breathing too hard to be casual in this line of questioning.]
[Another of those impulses drives the uplifting touch and curled fingers below his chin, to make it more difficult to look anywhere but at her, and to really see him. See if he's hiding. See everything.
Her skin's dry, and cool from the late hour. She'd taken the gloves off for dinner..]
[That hand on his chin might as well be strangling, with how much trouble it gives him in managing a reply. Even worse that he worries the medication might not hold out under all this pressure. His eyebrow twitches with a faint glow in his eye and a few veins bubbling up-- but it all receeds in the blink of an eye.]
I don't know.
[One of the reasons he hasn't tried. Although probably the least of them.]
It was mode important to be civil, and friendly.
[Hyde might try to put the moves on, but Robert wouldn't be about to try that...ever really, but at least not until reconciliation.]
[Hey now. Don't spread rumors. Bella didn't get to where she is criminally for cutting corners.]
I think you do, too.
[The tips of her fingers shift, just shy of letting Robert lower his chin. She drops her head, inches from his brow, hesitating only once before tilting to deal him an open-mouthed kiss with lips that already burn from the whiskey and frustrated want.]
[It's been coming for a while, really, so it shouldn't catch him by surprise. And yet it does. He seizes up, but for all that it shocks him and for all that Robert is just so shy about such intimacy, he still craves it - has for a long time now. His hand grips the table in front of him at first, but soon it finds Bella's waist, the other her shoulder.
The real problem is the way his head spins so he can hardly tell what's happening.]
[He's not permitted to check out of reality. What's happening is Bella stoops over a seated man at an obscene hour of the morning, the day's last meal flavoring her mouth. His hands are on her, and in a rustle of fabric, hers support the upward tilt of his head. They help him tip back, and be closer.]
[He feels as if he can't breathe, and when he does, it's only her perfume and the heat of her mouth that fills him. And even though his hands pull her closer and he so willingly accepts the suggestion to tilt his head toward her, in another moment he pulls away.]
Bella -- I'm not sure that this is alright.
[He's seen she's no lightweight, but he doesn't know how much she's had to drink tonight. If she's not in her right state of mind, he shouldn't even be party to any mistakes made in kissing her.
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I mean it as I said it, I admire you for it, it's a - an attractive quality.
[Could he possibly be more careful about what words he chooses? Probably, actually. If he was going to do as good a job of avoiding as he wants, he wouldn't have called it attractive.]
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Mostly, they never put out the thought of resuming her and Hyde's trysts. Or starting again. It was unheard of.
This time Bella looks away first. Her chest is on fire.]
Attractive to?
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[What does it matter if he thinks she's attractive (in more than just a physical sense), of course whatever they had is over. It's just good to be friendly again. And as a friend, he thinks she's very impressive and desirable. And he can't seem to feel or hear anything but his heart beating.]
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[Her rash impulses dictate what she does next: stand, abruptly scraping the chair back an inch, and circle the table in two steps to stand by him with hawkish intent. Intent to... ?
To get the truth from him. Bella just wants-- or needs, if her burning insides give any indication-- Robert to give her truth.]
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[If she must know!! But he still stands by that it doesn't matter. Who else would he be referring to anyway!
Does she really have to stand so close, he won't be able to keep a grip on himself like this. Where's that medication...coat pocket. He fumbles for it.]
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What're you frightened of now? Think I'll ... snap you up?
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[But he's definitely not doing so well. This requires more than just a spray or two. He takes about five doses.]
And you, are you...angry?
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She leans away, though, considering.]
Not a bit. Why all this? Why the schoolboy fluttering? And don't give me nonsense.
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[This whole thing is hard to deal with in every way.]
You must know already what I think of you - how I feel about you.
[But they don't talk about that, so he doesn't want to bring it up. But she asked.]
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Something's changed, then.
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[Did she really not know? He thought it was obvious, and most likely obvious that he wasn't getting over it any time soon either.]
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Her other hand flattens into the table as she goes on the offensive, trapping him into his chair. This is now an interrogation.]
No, it has. I'm not what you wanted, remember?
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That isn't true, precisely...!
[He never said she wasn't what he wanted. He just said there was something else he wanted. There is a difference. A big one.]
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[She won't say Lily because it's not about her, not remotely. Robert broke it off because he wanted someone he thought was weaker, who needed him as much as he needed the idea of perfection in a match. Someone delicate. Someone proper.
Bella's breathing too hard to be casual in this line of questioning.]
So how am I right today? Why?
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Not just today, I - I realise that I was wrong. [About both her and Lily. And what he did.] I suppose that's what changed.
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Her skin's dry, and cool from the late hour. She'd taken the gloves off for dinner..]
What d'you think could make up for that?
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I don't know.
[One of the reasons he hasn't tried. Although probably the least of them.]
It was mode important to be civil, and friendly.
[Hyde might try to put the moves on, but Robert wouldn't be about to try that...ever really, but at least not until reconciliation.]
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If he's done the same, then that could be almost good enough. Her eyes on him are raw and hot.]
Well. This is what I'm like. Having second thoughts?
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I'm not discovering anything new right now, you've already...made an impression. And I told you I find it attractive...
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And you understand there's more?
[More than temper and wit and composure.]
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[Not just that she's also capable of being hurt, but that she's softhearted too. He's seen many more sides to her during this partnership.]
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I think you do, too.
[The tips of her fingers shift, just shy of letting Robert lower his chin. She drops her head, inches from his brow, hesitating only once before tilting to deal him an open-mouthed kiss with lips that already burn from the whiskey and frustrated want.]
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The real problem is the way his head spins so he can hardly tell what's happening.]
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Bella -- I'm not sure that this is alright.
[He's seen she's no lightweight, but he doesn't know how much she's had to drink tonight. If she's not in her right state of mind, he shouldn't even be party to any mistakes made in kissing her.
much less sex.]
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